Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Reflections - Winter Break pt. 2

The next few days were full of the same crazy and painstaking 12+ hour days, but the hurt only began to come. The next week my father called me and told me my grandfather was in the hospital with a flesh eating virus. He almost died and his future was unsure but hopeful.
 Clarence E. Hill, my grandfather, my fraternity brother, my friend was almost taken from me. Only meeting my grandfather my sophmore year of high school, I have only 7 years with him. My mother's father never clamied her. He deemed her too dark skin to be his child, so I never got to see him...until his funeral. My greatgrand father was my grandfather, but alas he was snatched away from me in 1994. He helped raise me and my mother, taking me in when young mother could not raise me, my sister who is one year younger than me, and deal with the divorce from her 1st husband.  He was my first father. He is where I got my work ethic, my determination, my role model. I did not get to have that with my father's father. I was grown when he met me, and with him living in San Antonio, we hardly ever get to talk. 
No one in my life stays for long...noone is in my life for long.
I have had over 26 friends die since matriculating in to Mesquite High School in 2001. Too many friends turn fraudlent, too many likes never love, too many loves lost to time. I should have seen it coming. Denial is not only a river. Its really hard for me to handel. I don't know how to handel it. That is why I am writing. I am not a talker (SHUTUP LOL), I am a writer. 
The New Year really meant nothing to me. NYD was just another day...So was TRP Day. TRP EVE WAS SO OWT. CLUB STING IS THE SEXY SPOT IN DALLAS. I woke up on my birthday watched ESPN till All My Children Came on and then it is all a blur. Woke up Saturday morning and came back to Baylor...My sisters Chan and JJ came through with Valarie on thier way back from San Antonio. I love to see my sisters, but with joy comes pain. My grandfather isn't doing that much better, and neither is my mind. 

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