The trials of a people already sentenced
Born a suspect
Raised a criminal
Lived a fugitive
Died a convict
Probated on earth
Paroled in America
Imprisoned in society
The tribulations of a people already troubled
To their past they are contracted
To their past they are indentured
To their past they are enslaved
THEY tell them to catch up
THEY preach how THEY already caught up
THEY scream to stay back
The triumph of a people already crowned
Blessed to live
Anointed to survive
Promised to thrive
Exonerated on all charges
Exterminated of all burdens
Exalted to Calvary
Soon & VERY Soon... We Are Going to See the KING!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! We Are Going to See the KING!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Jealous Bitches
Bitches were jealous of me...
Ever since I had my training bra, when other girls were still rocking side ponytails
Every guy wanted me
Every girl wanted to be me
I skipped sizes like hopscotch
A's to C's to Double Ds.
Endowed with the bosom that busted
They got me out of tickets and into clubs
My first husband and fed my kids
Lol Bitches were jealous of me...
But now--They are gone...
Well one is, but THEY are not here...
I am not here
Who am I?
What am I?
Am I even a woman?
Bitches were so damn jealous me but now
Bitches pity me...I pity me
Think Pink
Breast Cancer Awareness Month is October
Follow Me @TRPhipps
The Ryan Phipps
Ever since I had my training bra, when other girls were still rocking side ponytails
Every guy wanted me
Every girl wanted to be me
I skipped sizes like hopscotch
A's to C's to Double Ds.
Endowed with the bosom that busted
They got me out of tickets and into clubs
My first husband and fed my kids
Lol Bitches were jealous of me...
But now--They are gone...
Well one is, but THEY are not here...
I am not here
Who am I?
What am I?
Am I even a woman?
Bitches were so damn jealous me but now
Bitches pity me...I pity me
Think Pink
Breast Cancer Awareness Month is October
Follow Me @TRPhipps
The Ryan Phipps
Thursday, October 8, 2009
It Was Just My Imagination Pt. 1 (From Her)
On a snowy Kansas night
With a star studded sky tucked in to the clouds
I saw you
As our eyes met, our minds meld
Our souls synced and our lives linked
Piper or not, my mind had no fear, no doubt
You beckoned me
And as if our feet were fused, in lock-step
We inched closer and closer
Those almond shaped eyes grew more soft
That reassuring smile grew more comforting
That towering statuesque frame grew more chiseled
My consciousness was knocked unconscious
Though stranger, this feeling was so familiar
And as we stood nose to nose
There were no thoughts, no nervousness
We both knew what was next
And as we inched closer, lips perched, hearts throbbing
It was only a matter of time before we reached nirvana
And as I leaned, reality careened
Forbidden Fruit, bursting with ripeness, ready in my hands
I ran, but I stayed.
And as I turned back, I saw you there looking for me
And as that tempest raged into a hurricane
I was forced into denial that...
...it was just my imagination...
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Fan Page on Facebook
With a star studded sky tucked in to the clouds
I saw you
As our eyes met, our minds meld
Our souls synced and our lives linked
Piper or not, my mind had no fear, no doubt
You beckoned me
And as if our feet were fused, in lock-step
We inched closer and closer
Those almond shaped eyes grew more soft
That reassuring smile grew more comforting
That towering statuesque frame grew more chiseled
My consciousness was knocked unconscious
Though stranger, this feeling was so familiar
And as we stood nose to nose
There were no thoughts, no nervousness
We both knew what was next
And as we inched closer, lips perched, hearts throbbing
It was only a matter of time before we reached nirvana
And as I leaned, reality careened
Forbidden Fruit, bursting with ripeness, ready in my hands
I ran, but I stayed.
And as I turned back, I saw you there looking for me
And as that tempest raged into a hurricane
I was forced into denial that...
...it was just my imagination...
Follow Me
Fan Page on Facebook
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Social Networking (JOATMON)
Facebook pulls you up as a "Friend I May Know"
May know?! Quite a bit, I'd say so
All up in my news feed
It's like I got a Ustream
Maybe a tributary
Because I'm cut off--My river ran into the cemetery
It's selfish, but it hurts more to see your happy updates
Flipping through our old tagged photos keeps me up late
This wouldn't be if I could have had everything my way
Since it ended I can't even look at MySpace
You still my Top Friend, I can't change it
It hurts too much rearrange it
I start to sweat at the sight of ya @mentions
Twitter got me bitter, but I act like I pay it no @tention
But you have been pounded in my mind
#You the trending topic
It seems to follow @you and I cant stop it
I see you log on and I feel even more miserable
Because I need you, but to you my status is invisible
I try to stay in your life by sending an occasional message
It hurts trying to fit in your life, that's why hearts aren't a shape in tetris
But pathetically i still log on
Because my home page is you.com
@TRPhipps
FOLLOW AND FEEL
May know?! Quite a bit, I'd say so
All up in my news feed
It's like I got a Ustream
Maybe a tributary
Because I'm cut off--My river ran into the cemetery
It's selfish, but it hurts more to see your happy updates
Flipping through our old tagged photos keeps me up late
This wouldn't be if I could have had everything my way
Since it ended I can't even look at MySpace
You still my Top Friend, I can't change it
It hurts too much rearrange it
I start to sweat at the sight of ya @mentions
Twitter got me bitter, but I act like I pay it no @tention
But you have been pounded in my mind
#You the trending topic
It seems to follow @you and I cant stop it
I see you log on and I feel even more miserable
Because I need you, but to you my status is invisible
I try to stay in your life by sending an occasional message
It hurts trying to fit in your life, that's why hearts aren't a shape in tetris
But pathetically i still log on
Because my home page is you.com
@TRPhipps
FOLLOW AND FEEL
Thursday, September 3, 2009
It Was Just My Imagination Pt. 2
Our love was like a fantasy.
We always felt like each other was a mirage,
Until we reached the oasis of us
The dream paled in comparison to the sun kissed tan of our reality.
Paradise…
I trusted you. I believed you. I loved you
I could find no flaw…
I wanted you to be my everything…
I would do anything…
I wanted you to want for nothing
You trusted me. You believed me. You loved me
Your cries of how much you love me soared to the heavens
Hell, you wanted to be my everything…
You would do anything…
You wanted me to want for nothing
But…where are you now?
Where are those reassuring hugs?
Where are those comforting kisses?
Where are those rainy days of holding?
Where are those laughter loaded hours?
Did they ever really happen?
Or was it…just my imagination?
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We always felt like each other was a mirage,
Until we reached the oasis of us
The dream paled in comparison to the sun kissed tan of our reality.
Paradise…
I trusted you. I believed you. I loved you
I could find no flaw…
I wanted you to be my everything…
I would do anything…
I wanted you to want for nothing
You trusted me. You believed me. You loved me
Your cries of how much you love me soared to the heavens
Hell, you wanted to be my everything…
You would do anything…
You wanted me to want for nothing
But…where are you now?
Where are those reassuring hugs?
Where are those comforting kisses?
Where are those rainy days of holding?
Where are those laughter loaded hours?
Did they ever really happen?
Or was it…just my imagination?
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Fan Page on Facebook
Friday, August 28, 2009
It Was Just My Imagination Pt. 1 (JOATMON)
On a snowy Kansas night
With a star studded sky tucked in to the clouds
I saw you
As our eyes met, our minds meld
Our souls synced and our lives linked
Siren or not, my mind had no fear, no doubt
You beckoned me
And as if our feet were fused, in lock-step
We inched closer and closer
Those chestnut eyes grew more fiery
That smile grew more brilliant
That coke bottle frame grew more curvy
My consciousness was knocked unconscious
Though stranger, this feeling was so familiar
And as we stood nose to nose
There were no thoughts, no nervousness
We both knew what was next
And as we inched closer, lips perched, hearts throbbing
It was only a matter of time before we reached nirvana
It seemed like an eternity before I felt you
But I could have kissed you for infinity
But as I opened my eyes to get another look—No one was there
I scanned the area, high and low, yet to no avail
….it was just my imagination…
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Fan Page on Facebook
With a star studded sky tucked in to the clouds
I saw you
As our eyes met, our minds meld
Our souls synced and our lives linked
Siren or not, my mind had no fear, no doubt
You beckoned me
And as if our feet were fused, in lock-step
We inched closer and closer
Those chestnut eyes grew more fiery
That smile grew more brilliant
That coke bottle frame grew more curvy
My consciousness was knocked unconscious
Though stranger, this feeling was so familiar
And as we stood nose to nose
There were no thoughts, no nervousness
We both knew what was next
And as we inched closer, lips perched, hearts throbbing
It was only a matter of time before we reached nirvana
It seemed like an eternity before I felt you
But I could have kissed you for infinity
But as I opened my eyes to get another look—No one was there
I scanned the area, high and low, yet to no avail
….it was just my imagination…
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Wednesday, July 22, 2009
My Favorite Memory of You...
As I was cleaning my room yesterday, I came across a picture of you
As I gazed into your red eyes, I remembered my favorite memory of you
You’re hair is askew
Your make up is running
You’re face is flush
You aren’t even looking at me
You were in this room, at that door
The yells drowning in the tears
I reached out to you…
You reached out to me…
And you left...
Left me…left Us…
That's why my favorite memory of you is the last one.
The last time “US” existed
The final time We were
My favorite memory of you is Our break up.
Because that’s only place We exist
…in the end.
JOATMON
TRPASTICHE
FOLLOW ME
As I gazed into your red eyes, I remembered my favorite memory of you
You’re hair is askew
Your make up is running
You’re face is flush
You aren’t even looking at me
You were in this room, at that door
The yells drowning in the tears
I reached out to you…
You reached out to me…
And you left...
Left me…left Us…
That's why my favorite memory of you is the last one.
The last time “US” existed
The final time We were
My favorite memory of you is Our break up.
Because that’s only place We exist
…in the end.
JOATMON
TRPASTICHE
FOLLOW ME
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Optical Coitus
As I was grooving in the club, I peered in to the crowd
As I scan the roomed--Our eyes met
Seemingly destined
Instantly consuming
Penetrating our perception
Time froze as our bodies rose
Into the sky, into each other
As our iris’ engaged in intercourse
Our hearts raced, our minds lagged
And our adrenaline rushed
Competing to see, who would let go first
We were transfixed on transmitting our inner tempest
I never felt so alive
I wanted her to feel, everything I ever felt for a woman
Our eyes made contact, but our bodies touched
As I walked closer and closer
The temperature soared higher and higher
Our hearts beat faster and faster
Our sweat poured and poured
And just as I reached her, her boyfriend shook her free
But as she walked away, she looked back for a quickie
JOATMON
FOLLOW ME
As I scan the roomed--Our eyes met
Seemingly destined
Instantly consuming
Penetrating our perception
Time froze as our bodies rose
Into the sky, into each other
As our iris’ engaged in intercourse
Our hearts raced, our minds lagged
And our adrenaline rushed
Competing to see, who would let go first
We were transfixed on transmitting our inner tempest
I never felt so alive
I wanted her to feel, everything I ever felt for a woman
Our eyes made contact, but our bodies touched
As I walked closer and closer
The temperature soared higher and higher
Our hearts beat faster and faster
Our sweat poured and poured
And just as I reached her, her boyfriend shook her free
But as she walked away, she looked back for a quickie
JOATMON
FOLLOW ME
"Do You Want Her Back?!"
As I was talking to Ms. Right Now, trying to seem like Mr. Right
She started asking me about them.
You know, the ones that got away.
I gave the mature reason that, “It didn’t work out.”
Then she asked about Her.
You know, the One that got away.
The One that used to set my sun and illuminated my nights
The One that helped me, that held me, that had me
The One that made me, me
The One that built me
The One that destroyed me
And I admitted this all, but again opted for the mature conclusion
“It didn’t work out.”
And as if she already new, smugly she inquired
“Do you want Her back?”
That was then, the past has passed,
“Do you want Her back?”
I’m a different person now, we are totally different people
“Do you want Her back?”
I pled until my tongue bled, my tear ducts dried and my saliva evaporated for Her to return, She didn’t so it’s done.
“DO YOU WANT HER BACK?!”
Yes! I want my sun to shine and my stars to illuminate!
I need Her to help me, to hold me, to have me!
To make me, me again!
To build me!
To re-destroy me!
“Ryan, did you hear me? Can I call you back?”
The conversation was all in my head
She didn’t ask me--I asked me, “Do you want Her…”
JOATMON
@TRPHIPPS
She started asking me about them.
You know, the ones that got away.
I gave the mature reason that, “It didn’t work out.”
Then she asked about Her.
You know, the One that got away.
The One that used to set my sun and illuminated my nights
The One that helped me, that held me, that had me
The One that made me, me
The One that built me
The One that destroyed me
And I admitted this all, but again opted for the mature conclusion
“It didn’t work out.”
And as if she already new, smugly she inquired
“Do you want Her back?”
That was then, the past has passed,
“Do you want Her back?”
I’m a different person now, we are totally different people
“Do you want Her back?”
I pled until my tongue bled, my tear ducts dried and my saliva evaporated for Her to return, She didn’t so it’s done.
“DO YOU WANT HER BACK?!”
Yes! I want my sun to shine and my stars to illuminate!
I need Her to help me, to hold me, to have me!
To make me, me again!
To build me!
To re-destroy me!
“Ryan, did you hear me? Can I call you back?”
The conversation was all in my head
She didn’t ask me--I asked me, “Do you want Her…”
JOATMON
@TRPHIPPS
Monday, July 13, 2009
La Luz De Mi Vida (The Light of My Life)
Like Christmas lights they cascade the sky,
Invade the eyes
The wonders, a parade of lights
I pray “LORD STAY THE NIGHT!”
Because a the top of the tree, my star shines,
Beams, radiates, illuminates, lights
My north star, creating an aurora borealis in my heart-
even when you are not here.
You are not here…
But you are in my thoughts, but I cannot see you
In my head, but I cannot hear you
In my heart, but I cannot feel you
In my dreams, but I can’t make memories with you
The memory with you
Feels like a century with you
Even though it was a minute with you
But is it eternal?
Estrella, the light of my night
Longing in my soul, para mi Sol, the light of my life
But the moon is fading
The sun’s invading
And you…you are gone…but not forgotten
Follow Me
JOATMON
TRPastiche
Invade the eyes
The wonders, a parade of lights
I pray “LORD STAY THE NIGHT!”
Because a the top of the tree, my star shines,
Beams, radiates, illuminates, lights
My north star, creating an aurora borealis in my heart-
even when you are not here.
You are not here…
But you are in my thoughts, but I cannot see you
In my head, but I cannot hear you
In my heart, but I cannot feel you
In my dreams, but I can’t make memories with you
The memory with you
Feels like a century with you
Even though it was a minute with you
But is it eternal?
Estrella, the light of my night
Longing in my soul, para mi Sol, the light of my life
But the moon is fading
The sun’s invading
And you…you are gone…but not forgotten
Follow Me
JOATMON
TRPastiche
Sunday, June 28, 2009
My Favorite Picture of You...
My screen saver was scrolling through my photos one day,
And as I looked up it came across my favorite picture of you
Your hair isn’t done
Your make up is half on
You’re dressed down
You aren’t even smiling
The photographer didn’t use flash, so it’s a little dim
And his hands are shaky, so it’s a tad blurry
It’s at a bad angle, and you have red eye
But I am in it too...
That's why my favorite picture of you is one of us.
Because that’s how I think about you
That’s how I still feel about you
May favorite picture of you…is we.
Because that’s they only place we exist.
FOLLOW ME
JOATMON
Friday, June 26, 2009
Us Poem
This isn’t a love poem, it’s an
Why write about something intangible
Indefinable, Incomprehensible
Unmanageable, unreliable?
No, I scribe scripts of surety, of purity
Dreams are deferrable
But reality is occurable
Occurred and Occurring-Reassuring
“What is” is great!
“That what may be” is not will
When you touch me
My hair levitates, goosebumps knot
And nerve endings fire like Black Cats
When you call my name
My ears while ringing, are soothed,
Heart accelerates
Perspire, yet inspired
It’s like you and my heart conspire
And when you smile at me….Girl when you smile at me!
Please smile at me?
I want to feel what I can’t explain
But this isn’t a poem about love
It’s a poem about US.
Our successes, our failures
Our history, our present
Our fights, our discoveries
Our kisses, our hugs
Our…
I am not in love with you…
But I am absolutely, head over heels, crazy about US!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Sing, Dance, Love
Love sings...
Sometimes it crescendos
Running through the scales
Leaping octaves
Sometimes shrilling
Always thrilling
DYNAMICALLY MEZZO FORTE
Hate
When
It's
Staccato
Wish it was legato
Hate the rest, but need the breaths
Keeps me high as sopranos and deep as bass
Maybe acapella but always accompanied
Love dances...
The physical manifestation of elation
The ballet that tap dances my heart rate
My mind waltzes while my feet tango
Tangled in the inescapable mambo of miracle
It breakdances my fears
Giving me the swagger to surf
Always feeling dougie fresh
Like the first time, never rusty, always cranked
Some it shimmys, some it trains, but my love hops
Soaring towards my star, you
Sing, Dance, Love
http://www.ryanphipps.blogspot.com
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Sometimes it crescendos
Running through the scales
Leaping octaves
Sometimes shrilling
Always thrilling
DYNAMICALLY MEZZO FORTE
Hate
When
It's
Staccato
Wish it was legato
Hate the rest, but need the breaths
Keeps me high as sopranos and deep as bass
Maybe acapella but always accompanied
Love dances...
The physical manifestation of elation
The ballet that tap dances my heart rate
My mind waltzes while my feet tango
Tangled in the inescapable mambo of miracle
It breakdances my fears
Giving me the swagger to surf
Always feeling dougie fresh
Like the first time, never rusty, always cranked
Some it shimmys, some it trains, but my love hops
Soaring towards my star, you
Sing, Dance, Love
http://www.ryanphipps.blogspot.com
Follow me on TWITTER
Sunday, June 14, 2009
I'm So
I’m So…
I’m sooooo hungry
But I don’t wan to get up
The fridge is too far
And there is nothing to microwave
Plus Family Guy is on – I LOVE STEWIE!
But I’m soooo damn hungry
I’m sooooo thirsty
But I don’t want to get up
The fridge is too far
And we only have tap water
Plus it’s the episode when Stewie beats up Brian
But I’m sooooo damn thirsty
I’m soooo tired
But I don’t want to go to sleep
The bed is too far
And I might miss something
Here it comes “Where’s My Money Man?”
But I’m soooo damn tired
I’m soooo hungry and the fridge is full
I’m soooo thirsty and the ice is cold
I’m soooo sleepy and I’m laying on the couch
But I’m soooo lazy…
Inspired by Bob Marley - "In an abundance, the fool is thirsty"
http://www.ryanphipps.blogspot.com
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I’m sooooo hungry
But I don’t wan to get up
The fridge is too far
And there is nothing to microwave
Plus Family Guy is on – I LOVE STEWIE!
But I’m soooo damn hungry
I’m sooooo thirsty
But I don’t want to get up
The fridge is too far
And we only have tap water
Plus it’s the episode when Stewie beats up Brian
But I’m sooooo damn thirsty
I’m soooo tired
But I don’t want to go to sleep
The bed is too far
And I might miss something
Here it comes “Where’s My Money Man?”
But I’m soooo damn tired
I’m soooo hungry and the fridge is full
I’m soooo thirsty and the ice is cold
I’m soooo sleepy and I’m laying on the couch
But I’m soooo lazy…
Inspired by Bob Marley - "In an abundance, the fool is thirsty"
http://www.ryanphipps.blogspot.com
follow me on http://www.twitter.com/trphipps
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
The Last Parade
It rained all night
Dreaming, seemingly even bringing rocks to life
The clouds have eclipsed the sun, fogs everywhere
Inviting me, enticing me, to return to the air
But it’ll be stayed, because today is my day
Family united, with frowns upon their face
Even though I’m in the shade
I’m still here don’t be afraid
It’s my last parade
The tear stained trail behind, the sunlit path ahead
Nothings guaranteed
Hopes on the horizon, faith guides my feet
Life is what leads
No matter the confetti of cries,
No balloons of sadness will eclipse the skies
The memories will entertain us
The memories will sustain us
The memories will not constrain us
The memories contain the
Laughter, smiles, keys to keep on keeping on
Keep your head high, don’t weep on see the sun
My paths already paved, the route of my last parade
The procession proceeds
A collection of leaves
Though tattered, though scattered, they matter
Even without a connection to trees
On my erection it reads...both my birth dates
Last one’s bigger, reason why we here in the first place
Worst case scenario-No heaven, No worries
There is still life after, I’m not buried
Not in the photos, assets or accomplishments
In the hearts, heads and accomplishments
Of those I helped, facilitated or inspired
The wingless phoenix, comes back in the fire
Of those who eyes I stirred up ire
The casket can no longer be stayed
For I have already been prayed
I have been lifted, now lowered, yet I’m unafraid
of the end of my last parade…
Inspired by Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day
Dreaming, seemingly even bringing rocks to life
The clouds have eclipsed the sun, fogs everywhere
Inviting me, enticing me, to return to the air
But it’ll be stayed, because today is my day
Family united, with frowns upon their face
Even though I’m in the shade
I’m still here don’t be afraid
It’s my last parade
The tear stained trail behind, the sunlit path ahead
Nothings guaranteed
Hopes on the horizon, faith guides my feet
Life is what leads
No matter the confetti of cries,
No balloons of sadness will eclipse the skies
The memories will entertain us
The memories will sustain us
The memories will not constrain us
The memories contain the
Laughter, smiles, keys to keep on keeping on
Keep your head high, don’t weep on see the sun
My paths already paved, the route of my last parade
The procession proceeds
A collection of leaves
Though tattered, though scattered, they matter
Even without a connection to trees
On my erection it reads...both my birth dates
Last one’s bigger, reason why we here in the first place
Worst case scenario-No heaven, No worries
There is still life after, I’m not buried
Not in the photos, assets or accomplishments
In the hearts, heads and accomplishments
Of those I helped, facilitated or inspired
The wingless phoenix, comes back in the fire
Of those who eyes I stirred up ire
The casket can no longer be stayed
For I have already been prayed
I have been lifted, now lowered, yet I’m unafraid
of the end of my last parade…
Inspired by Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day
Saturday, May 2, 2009
I Loved College (TRP and Asher Roth)
Seems like I blinked...and flew by these four years
After these last twelve hours there will be no more years
Yea there's grad school, but it's not undergraduate
Noodles in the cabinet
But you've got plenty canibus
You couldn't pass calculus
Like it was a freshman with a fat ass and tits
Class can get a little boring
That's why i keep my hoddie on low and pray I'm not snoring
Its easier to get Aids than Financial Aid
Between books and rent, I'm surprised I even came today
Between road tripping and po pimping my schedules stacked
Scheduling class around whose letting you smash
Everclear is water, only two shots to get gone
Hit the Frat parties to do Keg stands with key stone
Hell I have gotten more MIPs than As
21 I couldn't wait to see that day
Greeks compete for whose the owtest
At step shows its more like who's the loudest
Deltas and KAs beefing
Alphas and Kappas creeping
Zetas and signmas are scatterd
Iotas and Rhos don't matter
Roo to the Bruhs-Be OWT QUES
And as soon as I get over this hangover I'll be owt too
http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=128098543.wav
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43pkqeamXe8
After these last twelve hours there will be no more years
Yea there's grad school, but it's not undergraduate
Noodles in the cabinet
But you've got plenty canibus
You couldn't pass calculus
Like it was a freshman with a fat ass and tits
Class can get a little boring
That's why i keep my hoddie on low and pray I'm not snoring
Its easier to get Aids than Financial Aid
Between books and rent, I'm surprised I even came today
Between road tripping and po pimping my schedules stacked
Scheduling class around whose letting you smash
Everclear is water, only two shots to get gone
Hit the Frat parties to do Keg stands with key stone
Hell I have gotten more MIPs than As
21 I couldn't wait to see that day
Greeks compete for whose the owtest
At step shows its more like who's the loudest
Deltas and KAs beefing
Alphas and Kappas creeping
Zetas and signmas are scatterd
Iotas and Rhos don't matter
Roo to the Bruhs-Be OWT QUES
And as soon as I get over this hangover I'll be owt too
http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=128098543.wav
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43pkqeamXe8
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Ryan to Rhyan
Rhyan...
We was once so close, damn near together
Thought our bond couldn’t be broke, last damn near forever
Where there was one, there was the other
We were more, than friends, Sister and Brother
But we have discovered that distance is a mutha
An abusive one too, have we become just another…of others?
We used to think we found our half
In saddest times, in our bond, we found our laughs
Now have we round our last turn, or de we have more laps
Has our time run its course or is there more to lapse
No excitement in our hi’s, no sadness in our goodbye’s
We used to be elation in our lives; it’d be madness if we died…
Now we o so apathetic
How we talk is o so pathetic
When I call, you answer like you bothered
But when it comes to my roomies you damn near holler
But I was the one you called, when your tears fell like a shower
I don’t remember the last time we talked for an hour
It’s on me too...
For two years I had a girl that took time away from you
As I got more committed and my time became conflicted
We talk less, but I never demitted
One of the saddest days was when you came & I was the last to get a visit
Hell it’s so often now, that I’m not even tripping
Remember when you said that you didn’t like talking on the phone
At that moment I felt so alone
You voice was so soothing, and without you I was losing
It seems our grasp has loosened, to the past we oozing
So before we are a was, I want to give you your flowers
While you can see them and smell them and still feel the power
Of what we have, if half, don’t matter because it’s true
If I ever fall in love again, I’ll be sure she’s just like you
You are beautiful, intelligent, caring strong, the Perfect Delta for a Q.
If I never am successful in life, I’ll be happy to still have you
I love you Rhyan Deshawn Ford. Thanks for everything.
We was once so close, damn near together
Thought our bond couldn’t be broke, last damn near forever
Where there was one, there was the other
We were more, than friends, Sister and Brother
But we have discovered that distance is a mutha
An abusive one too, have we become just another…of others?
We used to think we found our half
In saddest times, in our bond, we found our laughs
Now have we round our last turn, or de we have more laps
Has our time run its course or is there more to lapse
No excitement in our hi’s, no sadness in our goodbye’s
We used to be elation in our lives; it’d be madness if we died…
Now we o so apathetic
How we talk is o so pathetic
When I call, you answer like you bothered
But when it comes to my roomies you damn near holler
But I was the one you called, when your tears fell like a shower
I don’t remember the last time we talked for an hour
It’s on me too...
For two years I had a girl that took time away from you
As I got more committed and my time became conflicted
We talk less, but I never demitted
One of the saddest days was when you came & I was the last to get a visit
Hell it’s so often now, that I’m not even tripping
Remember when you said that you didn’t like talking on the phone
At that moment I felt so alone
You voice was so soothing, and without you I was losing
It seems our grasp has loosened, to the past we oozing
So before we are a was, I want to give you your flowers
While you can see them and smell them and still feel the power
Of what we have, if half, don’t matter because it’s true
If I ever fall in love again, I’ll be sure she’s just like you
You are beautiful, intelligent, caring strong, the Perfect Delta for a Q.
If I never am successful in life, I’ll be happy to still have you
I love you Rhyan Deshawn Ford. Thanks for everything.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Time?
The dillusion of such
Led to the illusion of the crutch
And when we fall its the contusion of the...
Confusion...
There is no countdown, its just counting
No count up, its just amounting
There is no time line, it really is a ray
There is no end, no one day
A myriad of moments, a barrage of breaths
Can't build your life around it, because it's here when your left
Time Limit is a myth
How do you limit a myth?
Since was to make sense of what we sensed...
As the rat race...
And even you win, we all end up in that place
Its funny when you coming in first, and it feels...like you last
You just feel...like its lapsed
So what's the worry?
People run, time crawls
So what's the hurry?
You are so insignificant
Times so infinite
You're only really here an instant
Your end is not distant
The end is in the distance
So for the sprint...why strain?
Just be happy to get in the game
Most don't leave the bench - so lame
Why did the audience even come to the game?
You soul only rents your remains
No one gets out alive
But your soul never dies
Even though your whole will never rise
Your goal is to fly...
This was born out my impeding graduation and the angst. I was inspried by Drake - Lust for Life
Lust For Life - Drake, TRP
Led to the illusion of the crutch
And when we fall its the contusion of the...
Confusion...
There is no countdown, its just counting
No count up, its just amounting
There is no time line, it really is a ray
There is no end, no one day
A myriad of moments, a barrage of breaths
Can't build your life around it, because it's here when your left
Time Limit is a myth
How do you limit a myth?
Since was to make sense of what we sensed...
As the rat race...
And even you win, we all end up in that place
Its funny when you coming in first, and it feels...like you last
You just feel...like its lapsed
So what's the worry?
People run, time crawls
So what's the hurry?
You are so insignificant
Times so infinite
You're only really here an instant
Your end is not distant
The end is in the distance
So for the sprint...why strain?
Just be happy to get in the game
Most don't leave the bench - so lame
Why did the audience even come to the game?
You soul only rents your remains
No one gets out alive
But your soul never dies
Even though your whole will never rise
Your goal is to fly...
This was born out my impeding graduation and the angst. I was inspried by Drake - Lust for Life
Lust For Life - Drake, TRP
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
One More Chance (w/ sound recording)
August 05 I started my new hustle
Hitting the books, flexing my school muscle
Left the barrel to be in the BU Bubble
Resisting Temptation became my new trouble
I ain't no bitch, I ain't no hoe
But I cant get kicked out of school back at my mama's door
So I gotta bite my lip, keep my hands under control
Just hope I implode before I explode
These college kids are too trusty
Hell I wouldn't trust me
Been hitting licks since I couldn't fit in the buggy
Log on myspace my niggas stunting in club pictures
Fuck I wish I was in the club with ya
Drinking liquor, kicking back and rolling up the swishas
Instead of being broke wishing I was getting richer with ya
The fast way, ak and ski mask way
Instead of work study wage and my new chick Ashleigh
I'm not used to bumming, but I am used to bombing
Heartbeat drumming, praying 50 ain't coming
Went from hearing guns humming, to hearing guitars strumming
I came from nothing, so I am gonna leaving with something
Fuck school Ill do what I do, if i have to
I'm tired of crying cuz my niggas dying, in the bathroom
Magic, give me half of one and Ill have two
Tired of Mom's crying because her rent is past due
She asking me for money and my tuition is past due
The burden's on my shoulder, to me its passed to
Who? The task master, the class passer
I can't build walls, but I can blast plaster
To fix holes, to fix wholes
Amazing how I take the spoon to mix bowls
A sick soul, my niggas bragging bout they come up
Who and how they got done up
Asking me to come back and pick the brunt up
Do a run up hit the mall and get my stunt up
and for school put some up
I admit...it had me cheesing
From the outside it sounds so easy
But I remember my bro, bleeding and wheezing
I remember him screaming, is he dreaming and don't leave em
I remember that he died for no fucking reason
I know if I go back, I'm not leaving
So I can't go back because I'm not leaving breathing
http://www.ryanphipps.blogspot.com
I wrote this my freshman year from October 2005 - Feburary 2006.Biggie wanted his One More Chance and Baylor was mines. Its not about sex. It gets hard when you hungry. And I felt like I was starving and I'm definitely not talking about food.
Listen Here
http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=792846399.wav
Hitting the books, flexing my school muscle
Left the barrel to be in the BU Bubble
Resisting Temptation became my new trouble
I ain't no bitch, I ain't no hoe
But I cant get kicked out of school back at my mama's door
So I gotta bite my lip, keep my hands under control
Just hope I implode before I explode
These college kids are too trusty
Hell I wouldn't trust me
Been hitting licks since I couldn't fit in the buggy
Log on myspace my niggas stunting in club pictures
Fuck I wish I was in the club with ya
Drinking liquor, kicking back and rolling up the swishas
Instead of being broke wishing I was getting richer with ya
The fast way, ak and ski mask way
Instead of work study wage and my new chick Ashleigh
I'm not used to bumming, but I am used to bombing
Heartbeat drumming, praying 50 ain't coming
Went from hearing guns humming, to hearing guitars strumming
I came from nothing, so I am gonna leaving with something
Fuck school Ill do what I do, if i have to
I'm tired of crying cuz my niggas dying, in the bathroom
Magic, give me half of one and Ill have two
Tired of Mom's crying because her rent is past due
She asking me for money and my tuition is past due
The burden's on my shoulder, to me its passed to
Who? The task master, the class passer
I can't build walls, but I can blast plaster
To fix holes, to fix wholes
Amazing how I take the spoon to mix bowls
A sick soul, my niggas bragging bout they come up
Who and how they got done up
Asking me to come back and pick the brunt up
Do a run up hit the mall and get my stunt up
and for school put some up
I admit...it had me cheesing
From the outside it sounds so easy
But I remember my bro, bleeding and wheezing
I remember him screaming, is he dreaming and don't leave em
I remember that he died for no fucking reason
I know if I go back, I'm not leaving
So I can't go back because I'm not leaving breathing
http://www.ryanphipps.blogspot.com
I wrote this my freshman year from October 2005 - Feburary 2006.Biggie wanted his One More Chance and Baylor was mines. Its not about sex. It gets hard when you hungry. And I felt like I was starving and I'm definitely not talking about food.
Listen Here
http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=792846399.wav
Sunday, March 22, 2009
She Likes Me...She Loves Me (w/ sound recording)
She likes me
I can feel it through her glare
Even when she is away I can feel it in the air
I felt in her cries, I felt in her tears
I can feel it in her screams, losing me is her biggest fear
This has been the weirdest year
From Heartbreak to Heartache - How did I get here?
Back to happiness how do I even get near
And does path lead back to my ex dear
Still ain't had a next dear
Its getting closer to next year
Went from D to P to N, Whats the next gear?
Or do I need a new transmission
It seems to be stuck, the switches ain't transmitting
My mind is awake, my heart is asleep
My will is so strong, but my strength is so weak
She loves me
She's giving more than she's getting
Her brain is yelling stop, but her heart won't listen
She's stuck on autopilot, stuck on automatic
She keeps saying she's had it
But she gots to have it
Withdrawl is a bitch & to me she's an addict
In our house of "us" she already the addict
I panic...
Because it has a shaky foundation
I been there before, I still have the lacerations
I'm trying to be patient, tired of being pains patient
Reinforcin, every wall, making
Sure every beams in place &
Testing, taking my time making
It not just something to stand on
But something to land on
She likes me, She loves me
She loves me, She likes me
http://www.ryanphipps.blogspot.com
http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=1345277798.wav
I can feel it through her glare
Even when she is away I can feel it in the air
I felt in her cries, I felt in her tears
I can feel it in her screams, losing me is her biggest fear
This has been the weirdest year
From Heartbreak to Heartache - How did I get here?
Back to happiness how do I even get near
And does path lead back to my ex dear
Still ain't had a next dear
Its getting closer to next year
Went from D to P to N, Whats the next gear?
Or do I need a new transmission
It seems to be stuck, the switches ain't transmitting
My mind is awake, my heart is asleep
My will is so strong, but my strength is so weak
She loves me
She's giving more than she's getting
Her brain is yelling stop, but her heart won't listen
She's stuck on autopilot, stuck on automatic
She keeps saying she's had it
But she gots to have it
Withdrawl is a bitch & to me she's an addict
In our house of "us" she already the addict
I panic...
Because it has a shaky foundation
I been there before, I still have the lacerations
I'm trying to be patient, tired of being pains patient
Reinforcin, every wall, making
Sure every beams in place &
Testing, taking my time making
It not just something to stand on
But something to land on
She likes me, She loves me
She loves me, She likes me
http://www.ryanphipps.blogspot.com
http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=1345277798.wav
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Seasons (with sound recording)
Chorus: x2
Separated in the summer
Divorced in the winter
Thought the whole autumn we'd be over our problems
Then I spent the spring yelling questions to my King
These Seasons, These Seasons Change
We parted when it was hottest
I didn't mind the tan, but can't varnish the tarnish
If we couldn't be forever... then we couldn't be together
If we couldn't whether the weather
Then we can be whatever whenever -Never
Where we wore last
Ever more in the past
Please hurry up pass
Change these Seasons Change
Should have known we'd fall in the fall
Bare like trees it leaves like leaves
Slowly but surely once the sun had sung
One the sun was gone
It was done. It was...one...
I hoped for a part two
A return to sender on that parcel
A new season on this cartoon -CANCELED
Late it was far to
Where are you?
Besides my heart and my head
I'm not apart from the living but I'm a part of the...dead
Chorus
It ended in the winter
Destroyed any glimmer that shun through the window
I was a dumb nigga, thinking you weren't done when ya
Told me in December...but only Feb I remember
Change...
I didn't think you'd run but baby you were gone
Sorry you are gone-But you are home
Im homeless, roming on and on
These Seasons These Seasons Change
Spring sprung, and I still was
Between March Madness and April Showers I could fill up
The an ocean with tears
All I could feel was...nothing no fear
My heart chilled up - Gaping open no spill
No blood build up
I just can't forget it but you can
My mind on loop, like Sam the Toucan
Because my dreams you am...
...Actually you are
Keep telling my self one day
Because soon seems too far
Chorus
Been writing it for a while, but I finally finished. Basically about a breakup and how breaking up, can break the individual in the process.
Listen here
http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=295857450.wav
Separated in the summer
Divorced in the winter
Thought the whole autumn we'd be over our problems
Then I spent the spring yelling questions to my King
These Seasons, These Seasons Change
We parted when it was hottest
I didn't mind the tan, but can't varnish the tarnish
If we couldn't be forever... then we couldn't be together
If we couldn't whether the weather
Then we can be whatever whenever -Never
Where we wore last
Ever more in the past
Please hurry up pass
Change these Seasons Change
Should have known we'd fall in the fall
Bare like trees it leaves like leaves
Slowly but surely once the sun had sung
One the sun was gone
It was done. It was...one...
I hoped for a part two
A return to sender on that parcel
A new season on this cartoon -CANCELED
Late it was far to
Where are you?
Besides my heart and my head
I'm not apart from the living but I'm a part of the...dead
Chorus
It ended in the winter
Destroyed any glimmer that shun through the window
I was a dumb nigga, thinking you weren't done when ya
Told me in December...but only Feb I remember
Change...
I didn't think you'd run but baby you were gone
Sorry you are gone-But you are home
Im homeless, roming on and on
These Seasons These Seasons Change
Spring sprung, and I still was
Between March Madness and April Showers I could fill up
The an ocean with tears
All I could feel was...nothing no fear
My heart chilled up - Gaping open no spill
No blood build up
I just can't forget it but you can
My mind on loop, like Sam the Toucan
Because my dreams you am...
...Actually you are
Keep telling my self one day
Because soon seems too far
Chorus
Been writing it for a while, but I finally finished. Basically about a breakup and how breaking up, can break the individual in the process.
Listen here
http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=295857450.wav
Sunday, March 15, 2009
You're Still Here...
You’re still here…
I ran for days, weeks, and months
Just to realize that you’ve followed me
Now matter the speed or distance
Here we are neck and neck
You’re still here…
Although we parted physically
Mentally and emotionally-We are inseparable.
My thoughts, worries, inklings, qualms, concerns…
All against my tries tether back to you
You’re still here…
Memories of us haunt me
Not because I don’t want to think about them
But because no more memories can be made
Hindsight is 20/20, but my foresight is blind
You’re still here…
You don’t want to be.
You I’d never regret
I don’t want to regress
But any progress I seem to reject
I never ever want to renig on us
I only regret what I did to us
You’re still here…
Under my skin
In my eyes…
In my smiles…
In my cries…
In my dreams…
Reaching as I fall, my arms stretch towards you
I ran for days, weeks, and months
Just to realize that you’ve followed me
Now matter the speed or distance
Here we are neck and neck
You’re still here…
Although we parted physically
Mentally and emotionally-We are inseparable.
My thoughts, worries, inklings, qualms, concerns…
All against my tries tether back to you
You’re still here…
Memories of us haunt me
Not because I don’t want to think about them
But because no more memories can be made
Hindsight is 20/20, but my foresight is blind
You’re still here…
You don’t want to be.
You I’d never regret
I don’t want to regress
But any progress I seem to reject
I never ever want to renig on us
I only regret what I did to us
You’re still here…
Under my skin
In my eyes…
In my smiles…
In my cries…
In my dreams…
Reaching as I fall, my arms stretch towards you
www.ryanphipps.blogspot.com
Its pretty much self explanatory. Its an old write, that I just posted, it's not recent. Enjoy, click the last line to watch the video, that inspired it.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Reflections - Winter Break pt. 2
The next few days were full of the same crazy and painstaking 12+ hour days, but the hurt only began to come. The next week my father called me and told me my grandfather was in the hospital with a flesh eating virus. He almost died and his future was unsure but hopeful.
Clarence E. Hill, my grandfather, my fraternity brother, my friend was almost taken from me. Only meeting my grandfather my sophmore year of high school, I have only 7 years with him. My mother's father never clamied her. He deemed her too dark skin to be his child, so I never got to see him...until his funeral. My greatgrand father was my grandfather, but alas he was snatched away from me in 1994. He helped raise me and my mother, taking me in when young mother could not raise me, my sister who is one year younger than me, and deal with the divorce from her 1st husband. He was my first father. He is where I got my work ethic, my determination, my role model. I did not get to have that with my father's father. I was grown when he met me, and with him living in San Antonio, we hardly ever get to talk.
No one in my life stays for long...noone is in my life for long.
I have had over 26 friends die since matriculating in to Mesquite High School in 2001. Too many friends turn fraudlent, too many likes never love, too many loves lost to time. I should have seen it coming. Denial is not only a river. Its really hard for me to handel. I don't know how to handel it. That is why I am writing. I am not a talker (SHUTUP LOL), I am a writer.
The New Year really meant nothing to me. NYD was just another day...So was TRP Day. TRP EVE WAS SO OWT. CLUB STING IS THE SEXY SPOT IN DALLAS. I woke up on my birthday watched ESPN till All My Children Came on and then it is all a blur. Woke up Saturday morning and came back to Baylor...My sisters Chan and JJ came through with Valarie on thier way back from San Antonio. I love to see my sisters, but with joy comes pain. My grandfather isn't doing that much better, and neither is my mind.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Relections - Winter Break pt. 1
"I need to make change, but I don't want to break 100"
This past winter break was extremely hard. It was the first break completely without my ex-girlfriend of two years...we met in the winter of 2005. Work seemed extra grueling this year, working multiple 14 hr days in a row, going in at 8 a.m. and leaving at 1 a.m. the next morning. Working in retail, especially this season, killed my Christmas spirit. Christmas has became the day before Black Friday, a precursor to more superficial materialism. A lady even complained to me about the mall closing early on Christmas Eve, because she still had more shopping to do, with 8 bags in hand. She never thought about how I felt, the mall employee who has busted his ass more weeks in the madness and just wants to go home to his family. That Christmas Eve I relaxed and passed out after a nice meal. And then came The Day Before Black Friday.
My father works for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram as a sports reporter. He covers the Cowboys, and every year I am at the game, in the press box with the free food. Its like a small heaven, football, food and my father. But this year I was too tired to go to the game (THANKS CHAMPS SPORTS) so I opted to just spend some time with my two younger sisters and my step mom. I love all my sisters, Raquel, Te'Ayrra, Channing, and Jhira, so I decided to be with Chan and JJ(Jihra) in the morning and De De(Raquel) and T in the evening. As soon as I walked in Chan and JJ greeted me with smiles and excitement, immediately walking over to the tree and handing me my presents. I handed them theirs and they blitzed up the stairs to the new Wii. (I promise that game is crack.) Then it was just me and my stepmom (DUNN DUNN DUNNNNNN) and I didn't know what to expect. We have had an extremely rocky relationship eversince I first found my Dad April 1st of 2003. Something about her just always dug at me and it contiuned to. So I sat down, took a breath and calmed my self. She asked me to clean out the fire place and rather than flipping out, (I was in a fresh ass outfit, lol, I had a sweater and an Express shirt on, I was cute), I took off my shirt and went to work. After that my stepmom set in to give me another lecture, which caused so many of our previous conflicts.
But then I started to listen, or rathered she started to talk to me. She empowered me with information I never knew. When my mother first met my dad and stepmom she told them that there was nothing more she could teach me. I was too smart and she knew that she didn't give me the intelligence. She basically gave them the responsibility to understanding me and forming for the rest of my high school years. But Valarie said to me that I had also greatly surpassed her and my father. I was blessed with intelligence that my father didn't give to me, neither my mother, but God. This hit hard home with me. My mother never likes to show her weakness and for her to say something like that to Valarie was an outpour of honest emotion that I had been clamoring for for years. I pictured my mother not comprehending why I was so smart. It hurt me, because she was the reason why I was so smart. It was the fear of those world famous ass whoopings that kept me in the books. The want to alleviate her stress of working three jobs to suppport three kids that pushed me to learn.
I then went home, to my sisters and mother, seeing it all in a differently light. I feel asleep, because I had to be at work at 12 AM THAT MORNING!
TO BE CONTINUED
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